


Forever

by Tsundeyama



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, How Do I Tag, I translated this instead of sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 22:46:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16543754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsundeyama/pseuds/Tsundeyama
Summary: Eiji was quick to notice things, at least he was when it came to Ash. It only took him a few days, maybe a good week to understand and memorize his sleeping pattern. He knew everything, from the time he came back home after his nightly outings and silently slipped in between his covers, to the moment he actually fell asleep and then to the exact hour where he’ll start crying in his sleep because of nightmares Eiji was sure were nothing more than dark memories he wanted to forget or transcription of the guilt that was eating him alive. Every night, he resolved to gather his strength to offer Ash a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear if he wanted to talk but Eiji wasn't strong, he was a coward who couldn't seem to keep his promises. How can he stay with Ash forever if he can't even help him through a nightmare ?





	Forever

**Author's Note:**

> I swear it's fluff and it ends well don't hate me. 
> 
> Also I love my sons.

Eiji was quick to notice things, at least he was when it came to Ash. It only took him a few days, maybe a good week to understand and memorize his sleeping pattern. He knew everything, from the time he came back home after his nightly outings and silently slipped in between his covers, to the moment he actually fell asleep and then to the exact hour where he’ll start crying in his sleep because of nightmares Eiji was sure were nothing more than dark memories he wanted to forget or transcription of the guilt that was eating him alive. The first three days, Eiji was woken up by the sobbing of his friend but lately, he wasn’t able to close his eyes before he heard them die down, usually very late in the night. He was afraid to sleep through Ash’s nightmare and not be here, awake and ready to help him if needed.

 

Asleep or awake wouldn’t have made much of a difference though, since Eiji never dared confort Ash after the blond woke up from his bad dreams. He only ever stayed in bed and pretended to be asleep with his back turned away from the teenager, afraid that the lump in his throat would turn into him actually breaking down in tears. He wanted nothing more than to get out of bed and hug him, though, hug him and swear that everything was going to be okay from now on even though nothing was more uncertain.

 

Every night, he resolved to gather his strength to offer Ash a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear if he wanted to talk. He told himself that he had to act like an adult because he was one after all but Eiji wasn’t strong and never really considered himself an adult anyway so every night, he snuggled under his blankets with tears threatening to spill and that damn lump in his throat. Eiji was just a coward and a liar, the worst friend of all, he vowed to be by Ash’s side through everything, forever and yet he couldn’t even be there when he had nightmares.

 

God, he promised, so why can’t he just get up and wake Ash up and talk to him and… With newfound resolve, he pushed back his covers and hesitantly walked across the room to where Ash’s bed was. He was still asleep when Eiji joined him under the covers and embraced him, holding him close to his chest. The blonde didn’t tense upon being woken up by Eiji’s arms tightening around him, he simply shifted to face him.

 

The teenager hid his face against Eiji’s chest, burying himself in the softness of his grey sweatshirt, not even trying to stop his ugly sobs. There was only one person he felt like he could be and actually _wanted_ to be himself with, and this person was Eiji. If it was with him, Ash would allow himself to cry and be a child. The small, sad and lost child he always was and feel like he always will be. He gripped the fabric tighter and cried louder now that he didn’t have to fear about waking Eiji up anymore.

**« Ash, it’s okay… It was just a nightmare. »**

 

He hushed, stroking Ash’s blond hair while soothingly rubbing circle on his back with his free hand. Ash snuggled closer and Eiji held him tighter against his chest, letting the boy cry to his heart’s content.

 

Once the tears and ugly sobbing dried down to nothing more than a severe headache and occasional hiccups and sniffling, Ash stepped away. He wasn’t afraid of Eiji being judgemental or anything, but he was still embarrassed to have cried this much and this long. He just had so much feelings bottled up and it’s been so long since anyone embraced him and let them cry his eyes out in their arms, he just couldn’t stop before. Eiji gently cupped his cheeks and wiped away the last remains of dried tears off his reddened skin.

 

He smiled. Eiji smiled of his usual warm smile, so bright that it always feels like it’s lighting up the room. Eiji smiled because that’s what he does best and, in front of such solace, Ash can’t help but smile a little sadly in return.

 

**« Ash ? »**

 

His name escaped Eiji’s lips in a worried tone and the American wondered if he would ever get to hear his friend call him by his full name, the one he was given by his mother. He imagined how perfect it would sound, how gentle, how adorable Eiji’s slight accent would make it.

 

**« Once more. »** _he whispered._

**« Ash. »**

 

They couldn’t look away, lost in each other’s eyes but it wasn’t awkward. No words were needed. No words were ever needed between them because all it took was one look for them to understand the other completely. They had something, a special bond, they felt like actual _soulmates_ or at least, that what their inner voices were whispering.

 

And how long have they stayed like that in silence before any of them dared think of speaking ? Were Eiji’s cheeks always dusted the prettiest shade of pink ? Weren’t they maybe a little _too_ close ?

 

**« Please don’t give me that look. »**

**« What look ? »**

 

_The_ look. The one that sent his heart beating a million times faster and that stole his breath away every damn time. The one that was always paired with the softest of smiles, where his aquamarine eyes brightened. The look where he looked happy - _genuinely_ happy. And he only ever was when with Eiji, because he was the reason behind all his smiles. He was his happiness.

 

**« Don’t look at me as if you were in love. »**

 

Because it made him wonder and hope that was the case. That couldn’t be though, Ash would never love him that way, not in a thousand years. They were just friends, _best_ friends, **_bros_** even.

 

**« That must have sounded stupid, I’m sorry, forget I ever said that. »**

 

He always felt and acted so stupid around the blond but this, _this_ took the cake. But Ash let out a laugh and his smile widen and only then did Eiji note that they were definitely too close.

 

Only then did he notice how their noses were almost touching and that he could feel Ash’s breath fanning his lips, burning along with the strong desire to kiss him. _Please get away from me_ , he thought, or God helps him, he was not sure he could hold back.

 

Ash didn’t step away though. He did not stop Eiji from cupping his cheek or from caressing his soft skin with his thumb. No, he just smiled, pleasantly surprised.

 

The brunette made his feelings obvious on many occasions and so did Ash, Eiji was simply lacking too much confidence to notice that _yes,_ he was looking at him like he were in love because he was. The feeling always was mutual even though none of them ever talked about it.

 

Maybe Eiji didn’t, he was so sweet and pure and innocent, but Ash always knew that this moment was bound to happen sooner or later, that the passion, the love, the need of voicing out the feelings, of finally crossing the lines between friends and _lovers_ was going to become too overwhelming. In his fantasies, though, he was the weak one. In every scenario, he gave in and kissed first.

 

And maybe Eiji wasn’t as pure as Ash expected but he still was damn shy about wanting to kiss him. He made him wait for what seemed like hours before finally pressing his lips against his. Ash hand gripped his grey shirt a little tighter as he pulled him closer by the waist, smiling blissfully while Eiji’s fingers caressed his cheek lovingly. The kiss was just like Eiji : sweet, warm, gentle, innocent, clumsy, simply **_perfect._** Not like that one kiss they shared in prison - does it even count as one ? No.

 

No, this right now was their first kiss because it was the first time they felt that restlessness and that satisfaction upon kissing someone. The first time Ash actually told himself that he wouldn’t mind being kissed again.

 

They parted, and as Eiji was quite little dying of embarrassment at his own boldness, Ash smiled and laid his head against his torso as a way of telling him that he was fine and that the kiss didn’t bother or trigger him in anyway. He had been wanting it for longer than he can remember.

 

**« Eiji, do you remember that thing you said before ? »** _said man only hummed in response. He said many things, but he knew exactly what Ash was talking about._ **« I’d like to hear it again. »**

 

The brunette’s arms wrapped around his waist and he curled up against him, resting his chin upon the top of his blond head, holding him closer than ever.

 

**« I will stay by your side, Ash. Forever. »**


End file.
